Butterflies
by letsmakeitworthit
Summary: Kate has some hidden feelings she wants to admit to a certain writer, but he has some secrets of his own. Will they be able to forgive one another for their mistakes?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Kate stood in the centre of her living room, her mind spinning, her heart racing, she'd never been this nervous, not even when she started at the academy, what was wrong with her? She wanted this, she really did, but making her body move, making herself leave her apartment was proving to be very difficult. She was ready an hour early, why did she do this to herself, she'd given herself time to think, to decide how this was going to happen, but that was the worst thing she could have done. She still had to drives to Rick, he'd told her to meet him and then he'd take it from there, she just presumed it would be his car service that they'd be taking. But the more she thought about what would happen that night, the more she felt the urge to run, lock herself in her apartment and wait the night out. She jumped at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She looked down at her phone for the caller ID, noticing it was Rick.

"Hey" Kate answered, her voice steady

"Hey, erm, about tonight, you think you'd be okay come to mine like an hour early?" Rick questioned, he sounded nervous

"Erm, sure, so you want me to be at yours in what, 20 minutes?" Kate replied

"If that's okay?" Rick told her

"No problem" Kate answered "See you in 20"

"Bye" Rick answered as Kate hung up the phone, to double check that she was actually fully ready.

Kate decided that now was the time to move, she had to pull herself together, stop over thinking everything and just do it. She wanted this, so much; she just didn't know how he was going to react to everything. How he would react to her lying to him, she hadn't wanted to hurt him; she just didn't want to face what this would mean. Her hair and make-up was done, she just needed to change out of her sweats and into the dress she had bought the previous weekend. Everything was ready. She ran into her bedroom, quickly undressing and heading for the dress hung neatly over the back of her chair.

She removed the dress from the plastic bag that it was currently in, revealing the strapless midnight blue dress. She'd loved this dress the first time she'd seen it, and couldn't resist buying it for tonight. The dress was fairly plain, but hugged her figure perfectly. The front of the dress was covered in midnight blue flowers that trailed from the top left hand corner right down the top of the slit on her right thigh. The dress was the perfect floor length design, hugging her in all the right places, revealing her long legs, something she knew Rick would love. Almost her entire right thigh exposed, hiding enough of herself to keep her dignity. She studied herself in the mirror, she couldn't think of a better dress to be wearing than this one. Her curls cascading loosely over her shoulders, framing her face, her brown eyes emphasised by the smoky eye shadow surrounding them. All she needed now was her shoes, where had she put them? She scanned around her room, hoping to find them, but they weren't with the rest of her heels, so she ran into the living room, checking the clock, five minutes down, and she still had to get to Ricks.

Her shoes were resting next to her couch; she must have got them out earlier. She slipped into the gold heels, letting her feet feel the comfort of normality, they weren't as high as her usual heels, but they were all she needed, plus the style sold them to her instantly. The front of the shoes contained an open toe bottom, with a gold bow on the arch above, holding her foot in place. They were so simple yet elegant, and she had to ruin them by driving in them, this was going to be fun. She hurriedly locked up her apartment and jumped on the present elevator. Perfect timing.

By the time she'd reached the lobby, she'd decided that she had enough time to hail a cab, rather than drive to Ricks, wouldn't have to worry about parking her car somewhere and getting it home in the morning. Kate was always lucky with cabs they seemed to pull up at her beckon call, something Rick envied her for. She quickly jumped into the cab and gave the driver the address of Rick's apartment building. She pulled her cardigan tightly around herself as she saw the cab driver looking into his rear-view mirror at her. Even though her gun was in her purse, she still didn't like the way he was looking at her.

She rested head against the back of the seat, trying to steady her breathing, trying to compose herself for what she was about to face. Does she tell him before or after the benefit? God, before would ruin the whole night if things went south, but after could be too late and would probably end up being in the back of his car, which she didn't want, she wanted it to just be the two of them, to talk alone, no interruptions like they usually got. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the cab driver speaking.

"Where here miss" The driver spoke

"Erm, thanks" Kate told him as she handed him the money and climbed out of the cab.

She took a deep breath; she heard the cab pull away as she stood in the same place. She looked up at Rick's building, the lights were on in his apartment, but she didn't know whether he was home alone or if Alexis and Martha were home. She started to panic, she wanted to run, so much, but she wanted him more, them more, she had to do this, she had to go into that building, go see Rick.

She took a small step towards his building, her heart racing as she stared at the entrance. She could do this, one step at a time, isn't that what they've been doing since the day she was shot. Slowly getting what they wanted; them. She picked up the pace and quickly entered the building, heading straight for the elevator like a bullet; she was ready for this, ready for whatever the result was they'd still be friends no matter what, right? She pressed the button to Rick's floor, her heart still racing, not slowing for anything, no matter how much she tried to breathe and keep herself calm. She leant against the railing in the elevator, leaning her head against the mirrored wall. She stood, thinking, why was she thinking? Why was she doing that to herself? The ping of the elevator arriving on Rick's floor made her jilt her head up, composing herself one last time before stepping off and heading for his door. She'd straightened herself up and heading for his apartment, a smile spreading across her face.

Rick was sat in the living room, his tux on ready for the benefit, it wasn't the first one he'd taken Kate to, she'd been to previous events with Rick, including the wedding of his friend, this wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but he felt so nervous and he was sure that he sounded nervous when talking to her on the phone twenty minutes earlier. The knock on the door made him jump a little, until he realised that it was only Kate. What was he saying, was only Kate, it could never just be Kate, the woman was too extraordinary for that. He jumped off of the couch, straightening his tux as he headed towards the door. He swung it open, to be confronted by a gorgeous Kate, stood looking up at him smiling. Yes, she was looking up at him, he couldn't believe it.

"Hey" Kate said, noticing that Rick hadn't said anything to her, but was continuously looking her up and down, finally locking his eyes with hers.

"Hey" Rick replied, keeping his eyes focused on her, his smile growing wider, Rick reached out and grabbed Kate's hand before speaking again "Sorry, come in."

"Thanks Rick" Kate told him as she stepped over the threshold, there was no going back now, she was already there "Where's Martha and Alexis?"

"Alexis is at her friend's sleepover tonight, apparently they needed to have a girls night, and it was here last time, so I put my foot down." Rick smiled at Kate, his hand still held in hers before continuing "Mother is, well, mother is out I believe, she says she doesn't know what time I should expect her back, but I'm guessing it won't be until the morning, as always"

Kate let out a small laugh as she allowed Rick to take her jacket, instantly missing the touch of his hand in hers. She knew this was going to be a tough night for both of them, but they'd get through it, wouldn't they? Rick was looking at her again, he wasn't as close now, but he was still locking his eyes on her, and as soon as she tilted her head up to look into those deep blue eyes, she wanted nothing more than to get this over with and get them to the next stage of their relationship. But he'd sounded nervous when he'd phoned, and now he looked it. She then realised that she was an hour early, what had he wanted to talk about, they usually just arrived then headed straight out to the benefit.

"Rick" Kate spoke softly, her eyes still focused on his "Can we go sit down please?"

"Sure, is everything okay? Are you okay?" Rick stammered out as he continued to look at her, not moving from his position.

"Yeah, just rather not stand in your door way and I kind of want to run something by you if it's okay?" Kate tried to make it sound less like they were going to have the talk about them, she didn't want to make him more nervous than he already seemed

"Okay, yeah" Rick responded by grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her into his living room, he was shocked that she hadn't resisted, but had tightened the grip on his hand and followed him willingly into the living room.

Kate sat down on the couch once Rick had released his grasp on her before he'd headed off into the kitchen for some wine, although she didn't want alcohol in her system for this. She didn't want him to think that it was the alcohol talking and that she didn't really mean what she was saying to him. She took a deep breath calming her for his return. Which was rather quick considering; he arrived swiftly with two glasses of red wine placing one in Kate's hand before taking a seat on the couch next to her.

"Thanks" She muttered before leaning to place the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch. She rested back on the sofa, angling herself towards Rick, making sure he could her face when she spoke.

He must have noticed that she wanted to talk; at her sudden movement he copied her actions, quickly placing his glass down next to hers before turning to face her. She looked just as nervous has him, what did she have to be nervous about, she wasn't the one that was going to tell the women he loved the biggest secret he has ever kept from her, possibly ruining things for the future.

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><p><strong>Hi, hope you all like my new story. I know this chapter is quite long, but I hope you are left wanting more. I just thought I'd go with this one and see what happens, I've no idea how long I'm going to keep going with this story or how to actually end it.<br>But, I hope you like it, so please review.**

**Amy **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_She looked just as nervous has him, what did she have to be nervous about, she wasn't the one that was going to tell the women he loved the biggest secret he has ever kept from her, possibly ruining things for the future._

"Rick"

"Kate"

The pair spoke in unison as they looked at each other, so much to be said with only an hour to go, this was going to be impossible. Rick let out an awkward laugh, before gesturing to Kate to continue. However she also gestured to him, allowing him to go first.

"No, Kate, go ahead, I insist." Rick told her, trying to regain himself, buying himself more time before he had to tell her his secret.

"Okay, it's just, I've known you for four years now, and well let's face it, were not always on good terms, but you've been there for me, always. And I, I feel that there's something you should know, something I should have told you a long time ago..." Kate spoke, before Rick cut her off.

"Don't do this Kate, please" Rick pleaded with her, noticing the look in her eyes, she was going to tell him she was back with doctor motorcycle boy and that they were happy and there was nothing he could do about it, he couldn't listen to that, he'd rather not know at all.

"Rick, let me finish." Kate told him abruptly before continuing. "I just, I feel like I've let you down, like I've hurt you because of my own stupid denial..." she choked on her words, her eyes glistening as the tears started to form. She was glad she'd brought make-up, knowing she'd need to touch it up after this.

Rick noticed her eyes watering, he wanted to hold her, tell her he didn't care about doctor motorcycle boy, that he was happy as long as she was happy, however untrue that may be, and he didn't want to see her crying because of him. That's not what he wanted to happen, ever. He placed a hand on her knee, trying to comfort her, squeezing gently as he continued to look into her deep hazel eyes.

She placed her hand atop of his, looking into his blue eyes before opening her mouth to speak. Rick quickly placed a finger on her lips before she could say a word; she looked at him, confused, but not moving away. She wanted to be close to him, she didn't want to break this contact, and this is what she was heading towards. She continued to look into his eyes, loosing herself not noticing how close Rick was getting to her, not noticing that his finger was no longer placed on her lips, but cupping her cheeks. She saw his eyes shift, looking down to her lips, then back to her eyes, she repeated his actions, looking down to Ricks lips then back to his eyes. This wasn't right, she can't do this before he knows how she feels.

"Rick." Kate's breathe was hot against his face, her eyes searching his rapidly, hoping he'd catch on to the idea that she needed to talk to him first. "Please let me talk"

"Okay" He moved further away, but stayed close, so that his hand was still cupping her cheek, while his other was still held in Kate's. Kate let a small smile spread across her face before placing her free hand atop of his on her cheek.

"I remember" Kate let the words fall out of her mouth in a quiet whisper. She was still looking Rick in the eyes, waiting for a reaction, waiting for the anger that would flash across his face any second, once the words registered.

He didn't know what to say, his brain was still registering what she had just said, she had just come out and told him that she remembered, tonight of all nights. Why was she doing this? Was she trying to let him down gently, make sure they still stayed friends because everyone expected them both to be there tonight. He couldn't do this, he couldn't sit here and let her run away again, he knew she felt the same, and there was no doubt, why was she trying so damn hard to fight what they had.

Kate watched him sit there in silence, not talking, just staring at her, his own eyes now clouded. He was taking this the wrong way; he was taking it as a rejection and not an opening. She had to get this over with; she had to tell him how she felt. She wanted to tell him how she felt.

"Rick, look at me" Kate told him, her voice slightly shaky.

"I am" Rick replied, keeping his eyes trained on hers, but not really looking at her.

"No you're not, you're staring, and you're not looking at me." Kate affirmed once again

"I can't look at you for this, I can't see the happiness in your eyes while mine floods away" Rick told her, his eyes dropping from her gaze

"What? Why would that even happen Rick? What do you think I'm going to say?" Kate asked, moving her hand to his chin, lifting his head so their eyes locked once again

"Look I get it, you're happy, I'm glad Josh makes you happy, but please don't do this tonight." Rick told her, the tears brimming over his eyes.

Kate gazed into his sea blue eyes, those eyes so beautiful, now covered with sadness. She reaches over and wipes the tears from his eyes, all the time gazing into to his eyes, trying to force the worry away. She doesn't remove her hand from his face, but cups his cheek while caresses it with her thumb. He looks at her, still confused before stilling her hand with his, the touch sending a sensation through the pair.

"You're so blind. Well we both are." Kate states, the confusion only intensifying on Ricks face

"Kate, please, just let me go, can we just go to this charity event and leave it at that, I won't go into the precinct next week. This will be it" Rick told her, pulling his eyes away from hers and looking down at his lap.

"Rick, why would you do that? I don't want you to do that, I...I love you" Kate spoke, stammering near the end, she knew it was time, and she knew she had to say it, it felt right.

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><p><strong>I know its been a while since I posted anything for this story, or for any of my stories at all, but I've been a bit busy with college work and exams over the past month. So this one is a lot shorter than my last chapter, but this felt like the right place to end it, I could have gone further but I wanted to leave you wanting more and I hope I did. Have fun, and please review.<strong>

**Amy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"_Kate, please, just let me go, can we just go to this charity event and leave it at that, I won't go into the precinct next week. This will be it" Rick told her, pulling his eyes away from hers and looking down at his lap._

"_Rick, why would you do that? I don't want you to do that, I...I love you" Kate spoke, stammering near the end, she knew it was time, and she knew she had to say it, it felt right._

Rick continued to sit there, not looking at her, not saying anything, she thought he'd be happy, be happy that she felt the same way as he did. But oh god, what if he really had said it in the spur of the moment, what if he didn't mean it. She'd just made a complete and utter fool of herself if that was the case. She couldn't believe it; she'd just mustered the courage to tell him everything, tell him how she felt, everything and now he was going to tell her he didn't mean it, that he didn't love her, he just wanted to keep her alive. How could she be so stupid? How could she let herself cloud her own judgement and be so stupid as to believe he would ever, ever feel something so strongly towards her?

He looked up, to see Kate's face. She was thinking. Her eyes were nervously scanning his face, waiting for the reaction that Rick clearly wasn't showing. She was regretting saying it he knew it from the way her eyes were shifting across his face. Damn it he needed to pull himself out of his thoughts and say something.

"Kate, don't say that, you don't mean it." Rick told her, was all he could think to say, seriously, who was he kidding?

"No. You don't get to tell me how I feel, I love you, but clearly you said it in the spur of the moment so I'll just leave and make my own way there tonight." Kate shot back, standing up off the couch as she spoke.

But she couldn't move Ricks hand was tightly wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back down towards him, closer than they had started. "Kate" Was all he managed before his lips collided with her own. She didn't need the words again she just needed to know he cared.

His mind had clouded over with the lust he had for her, completely forgetting the murder board currently sat waiting to be revealed in his office. How could she think he didn't love her, maybe they are blind. His mouth moved over hers, god she tasted great, he was pretty sure she had cherry lipstick on. What was with this woman and her cherries? Did she not know it drove him crazy? Of course she knew, that's why she did it.

They had to stop, she needed to see it before she gave herself to him completely, damn it she should have seen it before she told him she loved him, it was so much harder knowing that she felt the same. He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her back as he placed one last lingering kiss to her lips.

"It's my turn to talk now Kate." Rick told her, his hand having come up to stroke her cheek. "I didn't want to do this before the gala, but I can't go without you knowing this, you probably won't want me to go when you know this, but I'd rather you be mad and hate me then be dead."

"Rick? What's wrong?" Kate managed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry, he wouldn't, would he?

"Come with me" Rick spoke softly as he held his hand out to her, pulling her up from the couch once she placed her hand in his.

He stopped short at his office door, causing Kate to bump into him not realising he'd stopped.

"Could have warned me there Rick" Kate mumbled against his shoulder.

"Kate? Will you look at me for a second?" His voice was soft again, he was worried and it was showing in the way he spoke to her.

"Seriously Rick, what is it?" Kate enquired, her eyes finding his as she lifted her head.

"I love you Kate, I just want you to be happy, but in order to be happy you needed to be alive, and if that meant you hating me then so be it. I just want to say I'm sorry, you needed to be ready, I needed something strong, there isn't much, nothing to go head first into this for. I was going to tell you when I knew you were strong enough, when I knew that you'd listen and take it all in without losing yourself again." Rick spoke, his eyes brimming with tears, his hand stroking her cheek as he say the tears well up in her own eyes, the smile fading from her face.

"Rick. What did you do?" Kate accused

"I had to, you had to stop, they were going to kill you, and your father didn't deserve to lose the only other important person left in his life to this." He couldn't hold back the tears, feeling it run down his cheek as he wiped away at the ones running down Kate's face.

"Rick, please, what did you do?" Kate begged, her eyes locked with his as she spoke

"When I returned to the precinct, I got a call, Mr Smith, he told me that Montgomery had sent him some files, files that were meant to keep you safe, keep you alive. He didn't tell me what was in the files, never went into much detail about anything, using riddles, especially last time I met him..." Rick started before Kate stepped away from his grasp, her eyes leaving his to look anywhere but him. "Kate?"

"You, you met him? How could you? What were you thinking?" Kate asked, she wasn't shouting, yet, but she was pretty damn angry

"I don't know who he is, never seen his face, always been in a parking garage, he's been a shadow, just telling me that you needed to stop searching in certain places, the Mayor case was the last I've heard of him, but you've not done anything since, you've stayed away" Rick told her, stepping closer to her again, needing to feel her, to know that she was still there. She didn't move to step away, but she wasn't stepping closer either, he knew she was battling with herself on what to do. "He told me you couldn't look into the case, once you started he could no longer protect you, he said he was an old friend of Montgomery's, owed him a favour and that favour was keeping you and his family safe. What did you expect me to do? Forgetting anything he told me, any time he contacted me? Waste information that may be useful when the time came?"

"So you decided to look into yourself? What about Alexis or Martha? What about their safety? Just because I can't look into this doesn't mean you can. You don't think they're going to come after you? Rick?" Kate questioned, she didn't want to answer his questions, how could he have been so stupid.

"You told me you couldn't have the relationship you wanted until you found your mothers killer. I want that relationship with you Kate, god I want it so badly. But you can't solve this case and come out alive, it's not possible, you'll never have the relationship you want that way. So I set to solving it myself. I've never gone out on my own trying to gathering information, just whenever he's called relating to a case we've been doing, telling me that you were getting too close, that they were getting suspicious, I made a note of it, all of it." Rick told her, he grasped onto her arm, gently pulling her through his office doors, the screen still light up his office, the pictures visible for her to see. "I know that you hate me, and probably don't want to see me, but you can't go back into this" He gestured his hand towards the board, "I haven't got any leads, nothing, just a few more pieces to add to what we already had, and even they're small, not substantial at all. But if you want to go back into this, want to get yourself killed, I can't be there when you do, I can't stand by and watch you get yourself killed, it killed me not seeing you for the summer, not knowing how you were doing, whether you were okay, and it will kill me to walk away, but if you do this, if you go back into this, I don't have a choice."

"Rick" Kate whispered her eyes brimming with tears as she kept them focused on the make-shift murder board in front of her.

"And now I've ruined your night, and I didn't want to do this today, but when you said...in the living room...I couldn't start something without you knowing...now there's nothing to start...so I won't go tonight...you can still take the car that I have for us, but I can't-" Rick was cut off by the feel of Kate's lips on his, his hands instinctively moving to the back of her head and her waist, holding her to him.

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><p><strong>I apologise for the long delay, I've done a few episode based fanfictions since I've been watching season 4 and well, they kind of ended up getting more attention. I have completed one though, so that's a first, but I noticed today that I have a lot of chapters for different stories half started, and well I kind of wanted to get some more interest into my old stuff that needs finishing. So I found my almost finished chapter three today, and finished it. So here it is, it may be a while before the next chapter, exams coming up and all at college. I hope you like it, opinions and ideas are welcomed.<strong>

**Amy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"_And now I've ruined your night, and I didn't want to do this today, but when you said...in the living room...I couldn't start something without you knowing...now there's nothing to start...so I won't go tonight...you can still take the car that I have for us, but I can't-" Rick was cut off by the feel of Kate's lips on his, his hands instinctively moving to the back of her head and her waist, holding her to him._

"Kate. Wait. Are you sure?" Rick breathed against her lips

"Yes. I've never been more sure" Kate breathed back

"Not yet. Tonight, we've got to get going" Rick admitted as he ran a hand down Kate's face

"Tonight" Kate stated as she placed her hand over Ricks on her face

"You okay?" Rick asked

"Yeah, just let me sort myself out first" Kate replied, a blush forming on her cheeks

"Okay, I will wait in the living room, you can use the en-suite next to my bedroom" Rick told her as he placed a soft kiss to her lips before pushing her towards his room

"Ready?" She shouted minutes later as she re-entered the living room

"Yep, cars waiting downstairs, let's get going" Rick replied as he opened the door for her

"Thank you" Was her only reply as she waited for Rick to lock up the loft

He turned from locking up the loft to find her stood waiting for the elevator, her eyes focused on him as she watched him walk towards her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side as they waited for the lift to arrive.

They sat pressed against each other through the entire car journey, their hands entwined as Rick rubbed circles across her hip with his free hand. Her head rested on his shoulder, her eyes focused on the hands currently resting on his lap, her thumb caressing his hands.

"Mr Castle, we're here" the voice of the driver sounded over the intercom as the car pulled to a stop

"Thank you John" Rick replied before pulling from Kate's grasp and heading out of the car "I'll get your door wait here"

She smiled softly at him as he closed the door before running around to her side and opening the door for her, extending his hand to help her out of the car.

"Thank you Castle"

"You're welcome Detective" he replied before pulling her close to him and letting his hand rest on the small of her back as they walked towards the entrance, through the crowd of reporters waiting at either side of the doors

"Katie" Her father shouted as he watched her enter with Rick's arm protectively wrapped around her

"Dad" She shouted as she headed towards him, her arms stretched as she walked into his embrace

"You look happy Katie" Jim murmured into her hair as he held her tight against him

"I am daddy" Was her reply as she squeezed him before pulling out of the hug

"You both ready?" Rick asked as he stepped towards the duo, allowing them their privacy

"Yes" they replied in unison

"Let's go take our seats then. Lanie and the boys are already seated" Rick told them as he held out his arm for Kate to hold onto

"Thank you for this Rick, it means a lot to both of us" Jim told him as they walked towards the table already occupied by Evelyn, Lanie, Javier, Kevin, Jenny, Victoria and her husband Gregg

Jim took his allocated seat between Evelyn and Victoria, greeting both women before watching as his daughter walks around the table to her seat across from him. He watched the smile spread across her face as Rick pulled her chair out for her, allowing her to sit down and get herself situated before even thinking of taking his own seat.

"Mr Castle, Detective Beckett, nice of you to join us" Gates spoke as the duo took their seats

"Good evening sir, nice to see you here" Kate replied as she let her hand fall off the table to grasp the hand that was currently residing on her thigh

"How is this going to work Mr Castle?" Gates quizzed again

"We just have to wait for everyone to arrive then dinner will be served, once the three courses have been served that's when the speeches begin, along with the presentation of the scholarship to the winning candidate. All candidates are here, however they are unaware of who has been awarded it." Rick listed off "The rest of the evening involves some dancing and drinking as a celebration."

"Sounds like it will be a lovely evening Mr Castle" Gates stated before the table erupted in conversation, everyone rushing to change the subject.

"How is everything going Jim, any big cases at the moment?" Evelyn asked

"Nothing major no, just the small cases to keep me busy through the week, got to let the beginners have their chance with the big guns every once in a while" Jim replied smiling, before flicking his eyes up to meet the grinning face of his daughter

"Of course that's the reason Dad" Kate inputted

"What are you trying to say Katie?" her father replied astonished by what she was insinuating

"Oh nothing, you like the small simple cases, always did" Kate answered

"You know your mother was always the one that liked the big cases" Jim stated "I liked the small ones yes."

"That she did, always searching for the next big case to sink her teeth into" Kate replied, a smile spreading across her face

"Attention everyone, the first course will be served in five minutes time, enjoy your evening" The voice shouted over the mike

The conversation around the room turned to soft whispers as waiters entered the room carrying plates, each one assigned to a specific table. The quite conversations continued throughout the dinner, compliments of the food passed between everyone as they tasted each new dish. Kate had reluctantly let go of Ricks hand when their starters had arrived, leaving her thigh cold at the absence of his hand that had rested there. She glanced over at him in between mouthfuls of food, shooting a quick smile and him before turning back to her food and the conversation floating around the table.

"That was amazing" Lanie exclaimed once the dessert dishes had been taken from the table

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, now let's get started shall we?" Rick stated before standing from his seat, his hand resting on Kate's shoulder, forcing her to stay seated before mouthing "Not yet"

"If I could have your attention please" Rick spoke into the microphone as he stood on the stage "I'm sure you are all well aware as to why we are here today. I won't stand up here for long; I never had the chance to meet Johanna Beckett, so I felt that hearing about her from those that knew her the best would be a great way to start the evening. I would like to introduce our first speaker, and the person we have to thank for the wonderful food tonight, Miss Madison Queller."

"Hello everyone, and I just run the restaurant, I don't do the cooking. Anyway, that's not the reason I'm stood here. Johanna was like a second mother to me, Becks and I were always together through school, so most of my time was spent with her family while mine were too busy with work. They took me in like one of their own, and I'm forever grateful for that. You didn't need to be immediate family for Johanna to take to you. She always saw the good in people and would do anything to protect the ones she loved. I think that's where Becks gets it from; she's just like her mother, always wanting justice for those who have been wronged. But Johanna always found time for family, she didn't let her job take over, she knew when to stop, knew when her family needed her. I don't know what Johanna was like as a lawyer, I'm sure we have someone to talk about that, but as a friend and a mother, she was amazing. If Beck's phoned her while she was in the middle of a case, she'd stop everything she was doing just to make sure she was okay. She would do it for me, even though she wasn't my mother. Gaining this scholarship not only makes you worthy of the kind of lawyer that Johanna was, but the type of person as a whole, don't let the job take over, remember to have fun and enjoy life, just like she always did." Madison finished her speech, tears brimming in her eyes before she exited the stage, handing the microphone back to Rick, before looking up to see Kate stood at the bottom of the stairs looking at her.

"Thank you" Kate whispered as she pulled Madison into a hug, as Rick announced the name of the next speaker.

By the end of the speeches there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Rick had taken his seat beside Kate once again, his had rested on her thigh, and hers placed on top, letting him know that she was okay.

"It's time Kate" Rick whispered to her

"I know, just give me a minute" Kate replied, looking across at her father who was looking just as nervous "You ready dad?"

"As I'll ever be Katie" Jim replied standing up to head for the stage

"Thank you again for this Rick." Kate told him before she also stood and headed towards her father

"Let's go Katie, you got the envelope?" Jim asked his daughter as she linked her arm through his

"Yes, it's all here" Kate replied as the duo walked onto the stage

"Hello everyone, I hope you've enjoyed the evening, it's now time for the real reason we are here, the presentation of the scholarship. Jo would have loved this she always wanted to help others. And Katie and I are so grateful to everyone, for coming and for helping to set this evening up. Now I'm sure we have some very eager candidates waiting to find out who has been awarded the scholarship, so I will hand you over to my daughter." Jim finished with a small as he looked towards Kate who nodded her head and took the microphone from his hand.

"Hello everyone, I know my father has already said thank you, but I will say it again. We really appreciate you all being here, it means a lot to both of us to know that so many people still remember the great person she was. We personally looked over the candidate files with the board, we wanted to make sure it went to the right person and that this first scholarship would set the ball rolling for more in the future. So, without making you listen to me talking any longer, it is with great pleasure that we give the first annual Johanna Beckett scholarship to Miss Claire Thompson." Kate spoke before stepping aside from the microphone to allow the winner to enter the stage.

Kate took her place next to her father as she watched the girl nervously take to the stage she was looking at her feet with every step, ensuring that she wouldn't fall. Kate took pity on the girl, eventually walking towards the girl to clasp her hand, guiding her onto the stage toward her father who now held the envelope.

"Almost there" Kate whisper to her as they approached her father

"Thank you" Claire replied as she came to a stop in front of Jim, releasing Kate's hold to allow her to return to the space beside her father.

* * *

><p><strong>Huge apologise for the delay with this one. I had writers-block and couldn't figure out the best way to progress with this chapter. I'm still not happy about it, but I think its time you all got another chapter. I don't think this story will have many more chapters.<strong>

**Amy.**


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